Within the space of one short week, life has changed .
This is what living history feels like. How will the world be changed when this is past?
Interiorly, there is room for deep introspection. How will I use this time? How will I keep Sunday holy in the desert-like weeks?
Normal life is crowded with activities and rushing. In the absence of this schedule, what will my heart yearn for in the empty moments?
Afraid if I talk about my schedule people will understand just how crazy I am.
Day one Monday spent six hours just on syllabi. Thankful I was canceled at work and at home for today or I’d be panicking with overwhelm at the moment. But know what my work looks like now
Day two Tuesday, I thought I’d accomplish major amounts of coursework today. But didn’t happen. Took care of appointments, however, and got an hour fitness barre class in. realized I had completely insufficient amounts of food for the amount of energy I took up. Thankfully I was invited to get supper with close friends passing through town. Quick nap, making a pot of decaf coffee and going at another round to knock out some more lecture.
Wednesday: Found a groove after meeting with a student
Thursday: planned to wake up early and study before work, but totally snoozed my alarm way too many times. found a sweet spot again at the library before a reading lesson
At the college library. This seems like its going to be my favorite spot, early evening in a quiet spot. Keeping me going: the flowers on the table, which I just spray paitned to be a two tones table with white top. Opens up the room with the lighter tone. Matt Maher, late to the party to discover how great these songs are.
Midsummer boasts many delicious fruits: ripe peaches and plums. Promises of apple pie liger around the after school starts section. My summer is also growing full and fruitful, showing the rewards of seeds planted months ago. Some I carefully planted and tended. Others are volunteers, springing up in my life garden without asking. (Planted, others have suggested, by the Master Gardener, Whose plans are so different than my own).
Many things I’d been working on to get up and running are just beginning to show some reward for the effort. Seeds that were planted when I left for a three month travel contract in Kansas.
I spent my first shift as a volunteer on a labor and delivery unit. I did not actually get to assist with any births, but I spent several hours deep in nerd-nurse conversations with the other staff. I started working for this position way back in April, even driving 6 hours to attend an amazing seminar for training.
I take off for a trip to Florida in only two hours, to see a college friend and spend time with her near the beach. Making this the second year in a row I’ve seen both Atlantic and Pacific oceans within a months time. Two and a half weeks earlier in the year in California with family proved restful and joyful.
Weekdays find me preparing for a weekly bible study I started with a friend, inspired by the amazing community I was a part of during my time travel nursing. I met a new friend on my arrival home, and she provided the encouragement and motivation to kickstart what would have otherwise remained an unfulfilled dream. I never would have chosen to lead or start a group by myself. Thank goodness she has led most of the discussions so far, but as the last week of her summer here I’ll be on my own.
How is your summer bearing fruit?
These periods of silence here, they are not an absence.
Every day I think of this space. Pages are filled with scribbles, stop-start ramblings as I begin to write. I always carry a notebook with me, to capture these fleeting thoughts. It’s hard to organize these random bursts of understanding and newfound rhythm in my days.
I’ve had a lot of reordering in my life the last year, friends. I’ve been shaken, jolted, stirred, and had to set about picking up the pieces. And not always happy about it. Answering questions: what is life after college, life after my family moved away? The beginning of true adulthood. Funny, when I was young it seemed “grownup” was a destination. Now I see it’s much more than that, a path perhaps but not a place.
We set personal resolutions as a end of the year assignment in Psychology my junior year of college. Mine was to seek experiences that would push me beyond my comfort zone. Though I didn’t think much of this resolution at the time. My life to that point had been filled with consistency and routine. and without prodding, I usually stay well within in my comfort zone.
I didn’t realize at the time that goal would be the theme for my next two years.
I have heard that whatever you avoid will find you at some point. “Try to get out of my comfort zone” has been the recurring pattern over the last several years. Most of the time I would have preferred to stay well within my safe space.
Life, it seems, has other plans.
Hello again, world.
I wasn’t planning on taking an extended blogging break, but days IRL became over-stretched. The virtual world had to be set aside. The biggest thing throwing my life into chaos was trying to hold down the schedule of a day/night rotating nurse.
So, last month, I decided it was time to move on to a schedule that allowed some control and consistency. Since then, life has begun to sort itself out, one piece at a time.
Waking hours are reset to match the daylight, sleep back into night. Permanently.
As the sun rises, my morning flows gently around a routine of favorite prayers before breakfast. The smooth structure calls to mind the rhythm in the even spaced cells of a monastery. After breakfast, there’s ample time to absorb the scriptures while basking in the dawn’s rosy glow.
In my perfect world.
…which never seems to be the one I’m living in.
My schedule changes from one day to the next. Routines are impossible to keep. I’ve tried many times to incorporate a consistent prayer hour into my day’s routine, but I have never succeeded long term. The designated time is kept the designated time for a week or two, then life gets in the way. My favorite prayer books and devotionals sit unopened on my bedside table for weeks at a time.
I have to think about prayer like a physical fitness regimen. If it’s not prioritized, it won’t happen. If I don’t plan reasonable, doable goals, it won’t happen. It’s easy to see when a weekend warrior starts an elaborate, lengthy program that they will fail.
I consider myself a realist. I imagine my highest goals knowing they will never succeed without careful implementation. To start a new task, I have to break it down in to the smallest steps possible. With each step I ask, will this happen? Can I envision myself doing this in a day?
If I want to start my day with readings from a specific book. Can I notice the book on the bedside table? What about picking up said book and opening it?
It’s easy to quote Yoda’s “Do, or do not. There is no try.” Just get it done, muscle your way through it. There is some truth in the adage. However, I don’t use this attitude to approach a large task. I use this for the task of picking up the light-saber, not when planning on facing and defeating Darth Vader.
This bite-size only approach turned out to work well for setting up a prayer routing. When using media to structure a prayer routine, the smallest step turns out to be just a click or tap.
So well, I was surprised by how easy it is to devote a large part of the morning once I got started. One step always facilitates more. The beginning is the hardest. (Mary Poppins says, “well begun is half done” So half of a routine is finished with something as simple as a click or tap!
Since I found out how well this works for me, I’ve started to use a variety of resources such as:
How do you use technology and media to support your prayer life?
The image could have been titled Our Lady of the Smile, since this was the most entrancing feature. It was a depiction of Mary’s heavenly bliss, her face calm and radiant. Looking at her face filled with Easter joy, I realized it was easy to forget the life she had to undergo beforehand. I’m sure her days in Roman occupied Judea were far from glamorous. It’s easy to think how rewarding and fulfilling it is to be a Christian in this life. God’s grace is abundant and He often does let us have tastes of the rewards. However, to believe this is the . I once met someone who wasn’t sure they were living out their faith well enough. This was merely because their experiences fell short of the exuberant joys and blessings from Christian life some of their friends had shared. I compare this idea what a faithful life is like to Mary’s own steps behind Christ’s way to Calvary, which called for a complete emptying of self.
“A sword your soul shall pierce.”
I am told life is about showing up, no matter how hard the day. A large part of Mary’s role in the scriptures is one of presence. Mary is recorded as being present at many points in the Gospels, often in the company of several of the other women disciples. It must have been difficult to be in public as contention grew around her Son. Christ’s family were referenced on several occasions by those who had been offended by Him. “Is not His mother Mary?”
I recall the words of Fulton Sheen “Her last recorded word was at the marriage feast of Cana, when her Divine Sone began His public life. Now that the sun was out, there was no longer need of the moon to shine. Now that the Word has spoken, there was no longer need of words” (Seven Last Words of Jesus and Mary). Her role from that time on was one of presence, as she walked in the footsteps of her Son. She continued in perseverance, even to her place at the foot of the cross on Calvary.
A short time later, she was present with the disciples in the Upper Room, waiting while they waited in patience for the fulfillment of Christ’s promise. Her presence on that glorious Pentecost could not have come without the earlier trials. Our Lady, Regina Caeli, is Our Lady of the Pieta.
No matter how far ahead I’m watching, I think I’m going to have to resign myself that I’ll never be able to see what life has in store even a month ahead of time.
A six inch long crab from a South Carolina beach.
People, cultures, places. Modern transportation has made the earth both larger and smaller. Smaller when traversing continents in days or hours, yet larger in the amount that I can explore. Growing up, even going on a weekend trip to a major city three or four hours away was a rarity. Now I have set feet on both sides of the country in one month’s time. It’s a strange feeling, this mobility. My mind adjusts slowly, not quite able to adjust to the pace yet. Perhaps in another year I will have adjusted to the roving lifestyle I find myself in.
Guest posted over at True North, in Part 1 and Part 2
My family recently moved to California, half a continent away from my grassy South Dakota hometown. This has some benefits, as now we have the opportunity to plan a special trip when I am able to travel out to visit. This year, we chose to visit our first major national park (unless you count the Badlands in Western South Dakota, which are lovely but small and not very crowded). Eleven children, two parents and my brothers guest, who just graduated from (homeschool) high school loaded suitcases under the seats two spend a two night stay in Yosemite National Park. Every age group from nine months old to adults of the early twenties was represented in our caravan. A baby, a toddler, ten older kids, and two parents, and my 16 year old brother’s friend, fourteen people in all.
A highlight of the trip was the visit from my brother’s South Dakota friend.
sister takes a turn in carrying the baby in the pack
Oh, Susanna
Don’t you cry for me
I’m going to California
With my washpan on my knee.
The rivers around Auburn, California still show the evidence of the gold deposits . Tiny glints of the shiny metal shine in the pebbles. My Dad was determined to find a way to experience this piece of California history. Many refrains of “My Darling Clementine” could be heard on the way up the mountain countryside to try our hand at treasure hunting.
There were just a few basic steps to be learned in beginning to look for gold.
Watching an expert was the ideal way to learn, a youtube videos make this possible from anywhere. We met with some very enthusiastic gold panners at a local supply shop, and they taught us the technique with an in-store demo.
for the little ones who wanted to help, there were several tasks they could do. Everyone felt included no matter their age. Once their attention spans had faded they were more than happy to dig with shovels in the sand and splash in the knee deep river.
The pictures portray an idealistic slice of the morning. The only doses of reality to be found was the presence of extra large California spiders in the rocks, and the awareness of the need to watch for rattlesnakes (a new one for us great plains folks). I would bring a small chair or stool along next time to be more comfortable. Stooping and lifting the rocks from the riverbed could use some ergonomic improvements. The heat of the sun was relieved by the chilly mountain water available. This was clear and fun for the youngest to play in. At the end of the day, everyone was fatigued but not cranky. The activity allowed even the youngest some independence in running around, so they were not as frustrated as when normally carried along on a big kid activity.
I suppose the biggest question is-did we find any? Yes-a lot! Mostly souvenir specks, but enough that we might have started a brand new hobby.
Stop and smell the roses, they say, and these local wildflowers make a very good start.
Tiny in size, it takes effort to notice them. There is nothing extraordinary about the dozens of tiny flowers along every sidewalk, road, and path. Yet if you do bend down to notice their world, you will be rewarded with fairy-sized beauty.
Working on finding all the names for all these, but I did find that the white ones are a member of the buttercup family, and called Meadow Anemones.
Come visit me over at True North Homeschool Academy this week and read my first guest post, written about education and virtue and reactions to words of Wisdom from a few of America’s great men.True North Homeschool Academy is a newly revamped online home-school resource, focusing on quality Christian education, and real relationships in learning. Online classes were one of the biggest highlights of my homeschool years, so I’m really excited that there is someone focusing on bringing the details and quality of close knit classrooms of nerdy homeschoolers to the internet. Thrilled to have the opportunity to share little pieces of my experience as a k-12 homeschool grad and college survivor with their audience.
I hadn’t known the late justice Antonin Scalia was an advocate of education until the cover of the recently released Scalia Speaks caught my eye at a local bookstore. Just a few moments with the book revealed his thoughts on the deterioration of American schools, the sinking standards of higher education, and the need for learning based on scripture and civic responsibility. Drawing on his experiences in law school, on the bench, and with the younger generations he mentors, he warned urgently against following the veering moral compass of our nation.
Scalia drew his opinions extensively from the words and writings of the earliest Americans, challenging me to examine my parent’s motivations in their decision to teach me at home. Each phrase directed me to the firm understanding that knowledge was worthless unless grounded in faith and virtue. An excerpt from Noah Webster’s On the Education of Youth in America impressed me so deeply that I pondered the meaning through the rest of the day. “The virtues of men are of more consequence to society than their abilities; and for this reason, the heart should be cultivated with more assiduity than the head.”
On the Education of Youth in America
I later found a copy of Webster’s entire essay, where he outlined the subjects he believed a child must be taught in school. He emphasized a rigorous study of law, history, and ethics, seeing these studies as not merely the acquisition of knowledge, but of virtue and character. Along with Scalia, he believed schools should place a higher importance on forming a strong character than a brilliant scholar. Furthermore, Webster did not suggest teaching these subjects to produce a successful career. He believed instead in forming citizens qualified to take their place in governing society.
Character Formation
The message resonated with me as I recalled my parents, who valued the formation of their children’s character first and foremost, guiding their decision to raise a homeschool family. They believed in education as the transmission of Christian virtues and culture to their children, and saw home education as a powerful tool in achieving this goal.
Technology, Skills, Character
In our technology driven world, a person’s knowledge and skills are incredibly important. Yet it is character that determines how those skills are put to use. A child’s moral grounding will provide the rudder to steer through career development, civic duties, and family life. My parents were confident that they could give adequate instruction in the practical skills of learning, and that they would also be in a better position to court the developing hopes, dreams, and character of their children.
A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth that which is good: and an evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth that which is evil. For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.~ Luke 6:45
Far over the misty mountains cold…
….We must away ere break of day
…To dungeons deep, and caverns old…
This song from Tolkein’s The Hobbit began in my heart the moment the plane lifted off towards the western horizon. Like Bilbo, I’ve been in awe of mountains, since I first saw the Beartooth Mountains in Montana. Perhaps simply because the terrain stands in stark contrast to the flat grassy plains where I live, I heartily believe a real adventure should involve mountains. So we piled in the fifteen passenger to brave the recent Sierra Nevada snowstorm over the heart of the range.
Me and lil’ sis, on the shores of Lake Tahoe.
