Things Kids Say

Not so Bare

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Landon had just finished playing with Dad’s air compressor. He had done something to release the pressure for a moment, and it had made a loud sound of air rushing out. Maria and John were getting their pajamas on, and I had just finished putting Joseph’s on. I was talking to Mom about how little things I have had to blog about recently, how funny and talkative my friends baby brother (who happens to be a couple months younger than Joseph) is. “Mom,” I said “I don’t have anything to blog about. My blog is very bare. Alexander used to keep me well supplied with funny things, but now he is going to turn four and doesn’t say so much innocently hilarious stuff anymore. Joseph can’t talk yet very well, so he can’t say funny things. (To Joseph) Joseph, why can’t you talk more like John?” (My friend’s baby brother’s name) I just continued on doing what I was doing, when a few minutes later the air compressor suddenly started going again. Joseph was fleeing from it in pure terror, screaming, “Mom! Mom! Mo-o-o-o-om!” All the way from the air compressor to Mom’s arms, with the air compressor going loudly. We got the air compressor stopped up, and Joseph wasn’t yet recovered from the scare. Mom said, “Who says he doesn’t do funny stuff? That was right on cue.” I replied, “I’m of to my blog!” I was thinking, ‘My blog isn’t so bare now.’

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Funny Alex

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Joseph was getting dressed in his room. Alexander, aka Darth Vader, came in solemnly, all dressed in black with a towel/cape, humming the Theme of the Dark Side. He had a gun in his hand, and he carefully took aim. Before he shot his gun, he itched his nose with the back of the gun he was holding. Then he shot. Mom said, “That would be a great thing to accidentally have in the movie.”

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Nice Brothers

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Joseph and Alex were fighting over who would sit on the exercise bike chair. Not to do anything, just to sit. So I lifted them both up onto the chair. They were both pleased at this remedy. I said, “There, now sit like nice brothers.” A little while later Joseph started to try to push Alex off the chair. “Help, Sarah.” Alexander said. “Joseph not being ‘nite buter’.”

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Mixed-up Words

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Dad has said, “Foons and sporks” and Maria has called coffee, “Caffee”. I once told Alexander when I was putting him in his car seat and he wanted to play with a bowl, “Get into the bowl and I will give you it.” Today we add another mixed-up word to the collection. Mom’s, “Elf-maker and the Shelves”. She said this on accident without knowing it. If you can’t tell what she meant, it was, ‘The Shoemaker and the Elves’, the book Alexander wanted read to him.

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A Common Dream

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When I was around five, I had a nightmare for the first time. Mom was driving me home from an art class I attended. She was going over a bridge too fast and I flew out of my seat belt, down and down. I was just about to fall into the river below when I woke up and it was morning. This particular dream reaccured a lot.

Hilarious Memories

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When I was little, I can’t remember how old, Mom and Dad were asleep in the early morning and I was looking at a
Madeline book on the couch.  I woke them up by suddenly screaming excessively loud because I had gotten a paper cut.

 

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Sleep Walking

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I used to sleep talk and sleepwalk a lot. I still do. Once I woke Mom up to tell her John was driving real tractors and trucks in the basement without a licence. Another time I came to tell Mom something very important, but as soon as she was up I forgot what it was, but I knew I had to tell her. I was very frustrated because when I sleepwalk I can’t say a complete sentence, and I knew it sounded like I was asleep but I thought I wasn’t. Another time I woke up to find Dad carrying me to bed, but I could not figure out how I had gotten upstairs in the first place.

 

Some examples of talking in my sleep are the time I was dreaming that I was on top of a pole, standing horizontily on it by my nose! A bad man was about to set fire to the pole and I was yelling “No! No! NO!” When Mom came downstairs to see what was the matter, she touched me. I turned over and was quiet, as if I suddenly realized how silly I was being. Just yesterday I woke up in the morning and woke up Maria and told that we needed to pray. When she was confused that the only reason I could give was that Mom had said we needed to pray at eight o’ clock, I turned over saying, “Never mind!” What I had really meant was that Mom had said we should wake up at eight o’ clock.

 

When I sleepwalk, I usually can’t remember what happened or I can remember only part of it. Mom and
Dad tell me about it. They say that if they wake me up, I will cry.

 

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John Paul Tries to Decipher his Heritage

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One day, John Paul decided he wanted to know more about his ancestors.  Here is the rather interesting conversation he had with Mom.

JP: Mom, who borned Dad?

M: Grandma.

JP: Who borned Grandma?

>M: Great-Grandma

JP: Who borned Great-Grandma?

M: Great-Great-Grandma.

JP: Who borned Great-Great-Grandma?

M: Great-Great-Great-Grandma.

This type of thing went on until John Paul couldn’t remember how many greats Mom had used. (To tell the truth, I think she was loosing track as well.)

JP: Mom, who borned you?

M: Groan

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